Finding Myself (and maybe some love in the process)
by The Inferno Alchemist
Summary: Some people might tell you that this is the story of a girl. By the end of this, I hope you can believe me wholeheartedly when I tell you it isn't. Trans!Eren fic


I wake up extra early, filled with excitement. Mom always tells me that the first day of kindergarten is a very important, and I believe her, of course. She also says that I'll have lots of fun, but I have some doubts on that one. Mom has already laid out one of my prettiest skirts on my bed for me to wear, and says she'll do my hair extra special. I wish I could just wear pants and let my hair down, but I trust Mom to know best. Mikasa says that I should just try to be nice and keep my temper under control, and I tell her I will. Mikasa's really smart, and she's already in the first grade, so I always listen to her, even though she can get a bit bossy sometimes.

The first morning goes by pretty well, we mainly just color and go over some basic rules, up until the point where our teacher divides us up into boys and girls for recess. I nervously walk towards the girls' line, tiny fists balled up, clutching the ruffled folds of my skirt. I glance, slightly longingly, at the other line, feeling like, somehow, I would fit in better over there, but no, that can't be right. I look like the girls, with my long hair and pretty green skirt.

I sit by myself on the swings, not wanting to play dolls, but when I try to join the boys and play swordfights, they say together, "You're a girl, you can't play with us," turning their noses up. I try to resist the urge to punch them, and fail miserably. I let myself loose in a flurry of punches and kicks, give one of them a black eye in the process. When the the teacher comes over, she tells me, "Eren, it's not ladylike to fight like that. I'll have to call your parents."

I look down, biting my lip, preventing myself from yelling at her that I don't want to be ladylike, since I realize that I'm already going to be in a bunch of trouble. I wait as patiently as I can for Mom to pick me up, and when she does, I can see in her eyes that she's disappointed in me. She says that since Dad's at work, he'll have to have a talk with me at dinner. She says she's not mad, but her being disappointed in me is worse. She doesn't yell at me; Mom almost never yells at me or Mikasa. I get sent back to class, noticeably disheartened.

When Mom and Mikasa come to pick me up, Mikasa gives me that stern look the always has whenever I do something stupid.

"Eren, I told you, keep your temper under control."

"But Mikasa-" I replied, trying to justify the fight.

"No buts. Eren, your sister's right," Mom replies.

The next day, I keep my mouth shut and sit in the corner until recess, quietly lining up the same as the day before. A few minutes later, I notice the same boys from yesterday ganging up on a tiny blonde boy. Anger boils up to my throat as I yell at them, "Don't touch him!"

"Oh? What's a little girl like you gonna do about it?" they reply. Angrily, I stomp up to them, but the blonde whispers meekly, "Don't. They're not worth it."

"What's your name?" I ask.

"I'm Armin Arlert," the boy, Armin, whispers shyly.

The next day, I find him again and sit with him for the rest of the day. Slowly, it becomes a routine. Sit together in class, play, eat, or just read at recess, then go back to class. I learn quickly that Armin is really really good at just about everything except sports, which is kind of unfair, since I'm only good because I'm really determined.

The rest of the year goes by pretty well, now that I've got a friend.

* * *

**This chapters pretty short, sorry about that. I'm going to try to have almost no author's notes from here, so I'll just clear up a few things.**

**1\. I'm using as where I put the rough draft, no editing. Later on, I'll edit the chapter and post it on AO3.**

**2\. My updates will be very irregular because I always have a busy schedule. I'll try to get a chapter every 2 weeks though.**

**Ok that's it, hope you like the story!**


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